Having
recently told you about
how you shouldn't get
around Barcelona (see here) it
is only fair that
the BigBarcelonaBlog tells you how
you should.
First
and most importantly, you
should use your feet.
For the benefit of
my readers from the
United States I should
point out that your
feet are the things
on the end of
your legs that you
usually keep on the
couch. More than any
other city the BigBarcelonaBlog has
visited, Barcelona responds best to
being walked around. There
is simply no other
way to experience the
ridiculously narrow alleys of
the old Jewish quarter
in Barri Gotico (I
mean, I say, quarter
but whichever person who did
the naming obviously flunked
fractions at high school).
The Old Jewish Sixteenth
would be a much
better description. Nor can you
find another way to
explore the surprisingly quiet
and romantic streets above
the Picasso museum in
El Borne. Nor can
you express your inner
hipster in Gracia or
your outer gangster in
the Raval. Walk and
walk and walk and
if in doubt walk
some more. This is
the most valuable bit
of advice I can
give you.
Oh apart from remember to look the right way when crossing the road. That is even more important. Because Spain, like every Latin country in the world, has instituted driving laws which are simply poorly camouflaged attemtps to cull the world's population of innocent Celts and Anglo-Saxons. You think they're still not smarting from the Armada going pear-shaped? Think again.
Oh apart from remember to look the right way when crossing the road. That is even more important. Because Spain, like every Latin country in the world, has instituted driving laws which are simply poorly camouflaged attemtps to cull the world's population of innocent Celts and Anglo-Saxons. You think they're still not smarting from the Armada going pear-shaped? Think again.
However,
the BigBarcelonaBlog must acknowledge that
there comes a time
when ones feet are
not enough. I'm again
particularly thinking here of
my readers from the
Land of the Free
who after a few
hours of walking will
doubtless already have
large pustular-like blisters forming on
their too, too soft
flesh (I have one
word for you. That
word is micropore tape.
Damn, I have two
words for you.) We
would not want our
unquiet American friends to
suffer the indignity of
being diagnosed with a strange
new strain of pediatric
Bubonic plague and hence
be forced to experience
what a proper health
system feels like, as
the whole idea of
universal care seems to
bring the whole country
out in hives which,
ironically, at least half
of them don't have
the insurance to get treated.
It could also be
that you have read
other articles from the
BigBarcelonaBlog
about, say, Parc Guell
(here) or the Sagrada
Familia (here) or Montjuic
(here) or Gracia (not
here cause I haven't
written it) and thought
I must make my way
to these tempting sounding
spots to see if
the reality can live
up to the prose.
Move
your eyes away from
the Tour Bus which
sits temptingly at the top
of the Las Ramblas.
True it will take
you to all these
places but it will
take your soul at
the same time. And
a soul is going
to come in handy
one of these days.
Just ask the pope.
Or Sam & Dave
Instead
gird your loins (a
fantastic piece of advice
I think you'll agree
and one all too
often, scandolously overlooked in these lax
modern days. How many
of us, I wonder,
are sauntering through the streets
with ungirded loins?) Head
for the nearest metro
station – here's one I
photgraphed earlier and they
all look pretty much
the same – and take
the plunge into the
unknown.
But BigBarcelonaBlog, I
hear you protest, -
they'll speak Spanish
to me or even,
perish the thought, Catalan.
Fear not oh subterranean explorer
for I have prepared
you for such eventualities with
my blog about learning
to speak Spanish using
only fifty words (here)
and Catalan in only
five words (here).
And
anyway you won't have
to speak to anyone.
Simply approach a ticket
machine. It will look
like this.
On closer inspection you
will see you are
being offered 8 options. If you click on the Union Jack you can be offered them in English. You want
a T-10 – if you
squint you can see
it there on the
top level second from
the left. Touch the
screen to select it
and then put your
money in the slot
on the right (it's
about 10 Euros at
the moment). You are
now the proud owner
of ten metro journeys.
An important thing to know
is that the cards
can be used by
more than one person
at the same time.
After you've put it
through the machine and
passed through the whooshing
door (OK whoosh is
an exagerration – juddering clunk is more
accurate) all the other
people you want to
use it have to
do the same (one
swoop per person). That's
all there is to
it. It's incredibly well-signposted so
if you know where
you're going you shouldn't
have any trouble.
The
ticket technically only covers Zone
1 but as Zone
1 is so wide
that it reaches practically to
Madrid that shouldn't concern
you very much. Which
speaks volumes for the
value of the ticket
(in London Zone 1
stretches about as far
as Boris Johnson's floppy hair). The trains
come very regularly. Admittedly
they can be crowded
in the centre and
especially at rush hour
but nothing too bad.
The last metro on
weekdays and Sundays goes
at 12, it's 2
on Friday and they
run all night on
Saturday and the nights before public holidays.
There
are a couple of
drawbacks. First, pickpockets. They
are there and will
pounce on an unwatched
open bag but if
you keep your stuff
closed and in front
of you you should
be fine. The horror
stories of Barcelona pickpockets, whilst
not entirely untrue, are
certainly considerably exaggerated. Do, however, be
especially alert if a
crowded escalator you are riding
up suddenly comes to
a stop. This is
a well know chaos
causing technique and there is
a very good chance
someone is about to
lose their wallet. Try
not to let it
be you.
And
the other drawback. Buskers.
There is no easy
way to say this
but Barcelona has possibly the poorest quality
buskers in the entire
world combining the five big
no nos of busking
in one extremely resistable
package, In no particular
order, these are:
1) Intrusion and Pursuit – rather
than strumming Knocking on Heaven's
Door dolefully in the tunnel
like the British buskers
I grew up with,
Spanish buskers come into
the carriage to play
for you.
2)
Amplification – oh
yes. Each busker has
their own personal generator.
3)
Tinny
backing track – the buskers
may attempt to play
different songs over it
but I swear the
backing track is always
the same.
4)
Accordions.
5)
Accordions. I
really hate the accordion.
But
apart from that what's
not to like? It's
cheap, it's fast and
it's reliable. And, though I
find it hard to
believe, there may be
some of you out
there who even like
accordions.