Extreme Pillow Fighting! |
Did
you know it was
national pillow fighting day
last Sunday? Neither did
I. That is until
I wandered up towards Plaza Catalunya
at about half past
seven thinking to myself
how wonderful it would be
if somebody had written
a blog post about
the location perfectly balancing
the witty and informative to
ensure that the reader,
while never lost, was
always smiling.
Oh,
I remembered with what some
might see as a
ludicrously false grin. Somebody
already has. You can
find it here
However,
I was distracted by
this brief happy epiphany
by the sight of
a lagre group of
Mossos (Barcelona's Riot Police) standing
in one of the
nearby streets. Now the
spotting of large groups
of Mossos can mean
only one of two
things. It's either a) Trouble
with a capital T or
b) Barcelona is hosting this
years World Championship of
Extreme Angled Beret Wearing.
And, as all fans
of beret wearing know,
that competition is to be
held in Beijing this
year (China having recently
discovered the beret and
already made great strides
in international competition – despite critics have
pointing out that a
number of these fast-improving Chinese
beret wearers have tested
positive for using anabolic
strings of onions).
So trouble it was.
Astute
readers will have noticed
the BigBarcelonaBlog is partial to
the odd bit of
Rock 'n' Roll and
so it will come
as no surprise that
his response to trouble
was to go looking
for it. Had he
come to the right
place?
All
the signs were there.
There were numerous Mossos
riot vans in every
sidestreet and the Guardia
Civil were in the
Plaza itself. The Guardia
Civil are the police
too but they aren't
as dangerous as the Mossos
– this is demonstrated by
the far more responsible angles
at which they wear
their berets.
The
BigBarcelonaBlog
couldn't wait to see
what had happened. Had
the Indignados returned? Was the city
once more to be
rocked by the idealistic fervour of 15-M?
Er.
No.
There
were twenty kids joyfully
hitting each other with
pillows. The BigBarcelonaBlog was
mystified. Even Britain,
despite enduring more than
a decade under the scarily authoritarian boot
of New Labour has,
so far as I
know, not outlawed pillow
fighting. On the opposite
side of the world
it's a similar story -the
Taliban, despite banning chess,
music and female education
and health, have so
far yet to get
around to prohibiting the
pillow fight (it is
a little known fact
that Mullah Omar defeated
Osama Bin Laden when
they went goosedown to
goosedown during a half
time break at the
Kandahar football stadium back
in 1999).
N.B.
Any Americans reading this please
substitue soccer for football.
Any American CIA operatives
reading this please substitute
“I am making this
up” for “this is
valuable intelligence I should pass
on to my superiors”. There
is absolutely no need to
extraordinarily render
me to Guantanamo again.
I learned my lesson
after the whole Abu
Hamza relaxes by entering
North London subbuteo tournaments debacle.
I mean I'd have
thought it was obvious.
But nineteenth months in an
orange jump suit taught
me never to take
Langley's sense
of humour for granted.
Anyway,
back to Plaza Catalunya
and the tense Mossos/Soft Cushion
stand off. At least
that's what I thought it was.
Then I realised I'd
made a mistake.
The
Mossos were not there
for the pillow fighters.
Standing close to the
these doughty down wielders
was another group. This
group were forlorner than
our feather flinging friends.
I had initially assumed
this was because they
had already fought and
lost and the feathery
residue of their weapons
now lay on ground
like so many fallen
snowflakes.
Fallen Snowflakes. Who says I can't do images? I mean apart from most poets |
But no! On closer inspection they
turned out not to be well plumped warriors at all but instead to be protestors.
I suppose I should have guessed this because they were stationary and as we
know from this post all Spanish
protesters have one thing in common. They never move. Even the marchers.
Actually, especially the marchers.
Anyway this was a rather sad and small
group of protestors and they were being addressed by a man with a surprisingly
quiet megaphone – a minorphone, if you will. The use of any kind of phone
wasn't strictly necessary as all the people were quite close enough to hear his
normal speaking voice but I suppose when you've gone to all the trouble of
bringing it, it feels kind of a waste not to crank it up to get that
irresistable British Rail Tannoy announcement vibe going. Whilst adding
undeniable authenticity the minorphone did have the drawback of rendering me
utterly unable to decipher what the protest was about and therefore give it
extended publicity by mentioning it here. It's a problem left wing groups
worldwide have run against over the years and frankly the BigBarcelonaBlog
despairs. We're never going to bring about global change, comrades, with
muffled slogans.
“What do we want?”
“Bwwoooorrrrreeee”
“When do want it?”
“Bwwooooorrreee.”
Bwwooorrrrreeee! |
So his fellow protestors were glumly
not hearing him while all around them kids were clonking each other with
pillows and all around them was a
watching cohort of riot police. I wondered about if the protesters,
unexpectedly, decided to join the pillow combat the authorities would intervene
as this would constitute direct
political pillow action which would threaten to undermine the structures of the
state as opposed to normal pillow fighting which would just undermine the
structure of the pillow. But despite my fervent wishing the protestors refused to oblige me.
So I guess I'll never know. And now
thanks to this post neither will you. So you may be wondering why I posted this.
Well, you see I've been filling this blog
with long helpful information and in my last post I thought I'd
experiment with some short helpful information. But that didn't work out so
well...see here . So I thought I'd try some long unhelpful information instead.
If you try new things people you don't get anywhere as someone famous once
said. Come to think of it – it might have been Icarus.
I'm melting!
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