Norway 0 England 1 International Friendly Match Report

          You join me in Oslo (well, alright you actually join me in Scobie’s Irish Bar in Barcelona in front of the big screen with my laptop looking like a right twonk) where we are about to find out how England are going to play under new manager Roy Hodgson.

          The noises before the match had hardly been optimistic. Hodgson had claimed, “You’ve got to believe England have a future” which implies after the recent debacles the FA actually contemplated just jacking it in and stopping playing football altogether. Those of us who watched England’s performances in South Africa did fleetingly wonder if that had already happened. Steven Gerrard, the newly appointed captain, perhaps on the grounds that he has at least got his court case out of the way, admitted he’d heard whispers that people were saying this group of players was the weakest England had ever assembled. I don’t know what Gerrard’s definition of a whisper is because the things I’ve been hearing have been loud enough to start avalanches in the Austrian Tyrol.

          Not only that the team were below full strength with Rooney and the Chelsea players rested after efforts in the Champions League Final – what John Terry needed resting for remains a mystery – just how tiring can it be to put your shin pads on and shamelessly shove yourself in front of the cameras?

          Nevertheless there were causes for optimism. England always win the first game under a new manager. Obviously they only do this so they can let everybody down later but still. Furthermore, Norway were not the strongest opposition - unlike Spain and the like they can at least be relied upon to let England have a go of the ball every now and then. And last of all, in giving Stewart Downing a place in the squad, Hodgson had demonstrated he retains a sense of humour.

          The new manager had decided to go for a 4-4-1-1 system presumably to stop England getting overrun in midfield as has often happened in the past. But the risk was that alone up front the occasionally lumbering Carroll would get isolated and England would resort to hoofing aimless long balls up in his direction.

          In the run-up to the game Hodgson had stressed three things to his new charges – they should be difficult to beat, play at a fast tempo and keep possession better. The whistle blew and we were about to find out if they’d been listening.

          England started brightly. Inside five minutes no less a figure than Stewart Downing had created a very presentable chance for Andy Carroll. This will have come as some as a big surprise to all watching Liverpool  fans who didn't know he did stuff like that. Fortunately normality was restored when Carroll headed it decisively wide reassuring all watching Liverpool fans that the world hadn't gone totally crazy.

          However, a goal wasn't long in coming, The seemingly shambolic Norwegian defence allowed Ashley Young way too much space on the edge of the area. He feinted to shoot. Hangeland, the Norwegian centre half not only bought his dummy he bought the extended warranty as well.  Young was through on goal and he coolly slotted home.

          England had a platform to build on. Unsurprisingly they chose not to. Instead Norway nearly hit back direct from a corner striking a post with Rob Green hopelessly stranded in his six yard box.

          As the half developed most worrying for England was the performance of the central midfield partnership. Gerrard and Parker are both likely to be first choices and neither were particularly effective. It was Gerrard especially whose woeful performance most caught the eye – misplacing countless passes, miscontrolling balls and finally committing a foul that could well have got him sent off in a competitive game. England headed for the interval in the lead but they couldn't have been happy.

          Hodgson’s first team talk seemed to have an effect at the start of the second period. England forced a free kick on the edge of the penalty area from which Leighton Baines drew a sharp low save from the Norwegian goalkeeper. It proved to be a false dawn.

          Norway now took control of the game and though they lacked the cutting edge to fashion a clear goal-scoring opportunity they were clearly the better side throughout the second half. What was more worrying for England fans was that the Norwegians also seemed to have more desire even though they won’t be going to Poland or the Ukraine unless their travel agent messes up their holiday bookings. As the half wore on England just about held their shape but as so often they couldn’t hold on to the ball.

          An American in a loud shirt walking into the bar looked at the screen and claimed “This isn’t football!” He didn’t know how right he was.

          As so often with international friendlies the game had now become simply an opportunity for the man who holds substitutions board up to exercise his arm.

          However when Jordan Henderson was introduced it was hard not to suspect that Roy Hodgson was not now using the game as an opportunity for revenge on his previous employers in Liverpool by demonstrating to the world just how woeful his successor’s transfer market purchases have been. If Charlie Adam wasn’t Scottish I believe he’d have been on as well just to ram the point home.

          And so the game fizzled out to a 1-0 England win. And doubtless it will be claimed that it is “something to build on.” But it was awfully dispiriting to watch. England had yet again shown that magical ability to somehow make a victory feel like a defeat.

                      

Atletico Madrid 0 FC Barcelona 3 Copa Del Rey Match Report

          You join the BigBarcelonaBlog live at the Vincente Calderon Stadium. Well, alright you join us live in front of the telly where the BigBarcelonaBlog attempts to do live football reporting for the first time. Expect typos. Expect grammatical errors. Do not expect the Spanish Inquisition. Unless obviously Barcelona lose in which case it will be the Spanish post-match inquisition with expert analysis from Torquemada Hansen and Torquemada Lawrenson..

          To set the scene. Barcelona might finish the season without winning a major domestic Spanish trophy. This is about as unthinkable as death in the mind of someone living. Atletico Bilbao might also finish the season without winning a major domestic trophy which is about as unthinkable as cheese on toast i.e. fairly thinkable as far as the BigBarcelonaBlog is concerned.

          The trophy up for grabs is the Copa Del Rey (obviously if you’ve been following Spanish news you’ll know that the trophy the king is most likely to provide would be a elephant’s foot or the skin of a hapless lion mercilessly shot on a swanky Botswana safari while his subjects deal with 50% youth unemployment and crushing austerity. Just saying.). Barca have been the all-conquering best team in the world over the last few years but Atletico Bilbao have an exciting young group of players that have thrilled neutrals as they swaggered to the final of the Europa league. Madrid have taken La liga from Barca. Could these young pretenders take the cup?

          The Vincente Calderon stadium was a passionate…er…cauldron (sorry couldn’t help it – what am I going to say frying pan?) as the two teams took to the field. This is unusual for Spain where large numbers fans from both teams being present is a bit of a rarity. The Atletico fans in particular took the opportunity to do a lot of singing.

          Then the whistle blew.

          But it could as easily have been a bell tolling.

          It didn’t take long for Barcleona to find their attacking rhythm, Messi almost from the kick off running dangerously at the defence and shooting just wide. Moments later they forced a corner. Unusually swung in long, it ricocheted loose in the box and Pedro pounced like a predatory panther in Paraguay (alright I’m gambling here for the sake of alliteration). 1-0 Barca! The firecrackers were going off outside the BigBarcelonaBlog’s flat. And back in the Basque country they were already starting to think that when Barcelona start scoring from scrappy set-pieces things could get really bad when they start with the tiki-taka.

          So it proved. Barcelona monopolised possession. Iniesta picked out a perfect through ball and Messi  from a narrow angle blasted the ball in to the top corner at the near post.

          A third goal was not long in arriving. Pique passed to Xavi on the edge of the area. He laid the ball back to Pedro who with perfect precision (look at this alliteration  go! It’s a good thing he’s not called Zedro that would be harder) curled it into the bottom left hand corner.

          The game essentially ended there. Atletico kept trying but the last time a team came back to beat Barcelona from 3-0 down the ref had received a menacing halftime phone call from General Franco. They mixed in their trying with some unpleasant fouls and the odd flailing elbow. Which was to be expected but was still disappointing. What was also to be expected but was the opposite of disappointing was that Messi would run through the entire Bilbao defence about four times - one mazy dribble from the halfway line saw him avoid at least two potentially leg-breaking challenges before pausing for a second, realizing his body was miraculously still intact, and then firing a low shot towards the far corner which the keeper did very well to keep out with his legs.

          The clock ran down. The whistle blew. The cup was Barca’s. It was a fitting way for Pep Guardiola to finish his final game. With Xavi and probably the greatest side to ever play football holding yet another trophy aloft.